When the Cat's Away, the Mice Will Play
by FreelancerRiley
Summary: To this day, Wash still doesn't know what the Director was thinking when he put York in charge that week. And what's the first thing he does? Throw a huge-ass party.


A/N: [Maine's growls, as heard by Wash and Rhode]

To this day, Wash still doesn't know what the Director was thinking when he put York in charge that week. Where he was going was 'classified.' The instant the Director left, York said, "Bust out the booze, we're throwing a party." Maine was only too eager to comply.  
Just thinking about it gave him a headache. Every party was the same: 1) The A.I.s would go and converge in a corner of the room. 2) Maine would challenge him to a drinking contest, only to win for the umpteenth time. 3) Eventually, South would try to seduce Wash to bed, only to be dragged away by a pissed-off North. 4) Wyoming would try to hit on Rhode, and would get chased away by a very pissed and very intoxicated Maine. Drunk or not, that man can be scary. And no-one hits on his girlfriend. 5) York and Tex would slip away and go have sex in her room. They would deny everything and come up with and excuse. If he didn't know any better, he'd believe them. 6) Connie and Arizona would get drunk and start singing random karaoke songs. 7) Florida (Blueguy) would start playing some kind of music. Preferably something loud and obnoxious. 8) Wash would finally pass out at one am, and he'd wake up in his bed the next morning. Carolina usually didn't participate in the parties.  
Same old, same old. Sometimes, he wished that something else would happen.  
Oddly enough, Sigma didn't leave Maine's side. That wasn't normal, but Wash brushed it off. He figured that it was so others could know what Maine's growls meant. Not that he needed a translator.  
As he was setting up for the party, someone tapped his shoulder. When he turned around, Maine was standing behind him with two bottles of beer and a grin on his face.  
"I'm not getting wasted before the party even starts."  
[But that's half the fun!]  
Wash sighed. "Go make yourself useful and see if Aubu-Arizona needs and help with carrying out the food. Someone rewired the TV again."  
[I didn't do it this time. I swear.]  
"Sure you didn't."  
Arizona and her brother Wyoming walked out of the kitchen, carrying trays of junk food. Wash couldn't help but stop what he was doing and watch her. When he looked back at Maine, he had on a grin again.  
[You love her, don't you.] It wasn't a question.  
"No." Wash was quick to answer.  
[David...]  
"Fine. I think she's attractive. But I don't like her in the sense that you like Rhode!"  
[Then why did you almost call her by her real name?]  
Wash didn't have an answer to that.  
"Look, just-" He sighed. "Just let me finish fixing this, and I'll come and have a beer with you."  
Maine was somewhat satisfied with this. [Alright.]  
As he walked over over to a table, he hollered over his shoulder, [She won't like you if you continue to be so emo all the time!]  
Wash just flipped him off.  
Later on, Tex had to leave during the party. She had an important mission. York didn't leave at all, so she was being honest. Freelancer duties always came first for her.  
Wash had yet to become wasted, much to his surprise. York owed him ten dollars. Maine, however, was having trouble standing. Go figure.  
Wash was walking over to Florida to tell him to 'change the song, that's the eighth time you've played this one!' when Wyoming pulled his aside.  
"We need to have a chat."  
They were in the shared room between Wyoming and York before either he said anything else.  
"Maine has informed me that you've 'taken a liking,' as he put it, to my sister."  
That bastard.  
"What happens if I say 'yes?'"  
Wyoming let out a short laugh and put his arm around Wash's shoulders.  
"My good fellow, I have no problem if you are in love with my sister. However, if you hurt her-"  
"I won't."  
"I hope you keep your word. Now if you'll excuse me..." The brit walked over to York's bed. No doubt to set up some elaborate prank. Wash got out of there before he was pulled into yet another one of the Freelancer's pranks.  
As he walked out, he nearly ran into the person who was about to enter. It was Arizona.  
"Wash? What are you doing here?"  
"Wyoming wanted me to help his with one of his pranks. I refuse to get involved."  
"In that case, I'm not going in there. I wanted to talk to him about something, but not while he's in 'prank mode.' I swear, he has too must free time."  
"Tell me about it."  
The two of them just stood there and talked for a while. Wyoming had left, chuckling to himself a few minutes before York walked down the hall.  
As he was about to enter the room, Wash stopped him. "I wouldn't go in there. Especially if I was you."  
York grimaced. "What did he do?"  
"I have no idea."  
York sighed. "Way to fuck up my night, Reggie."  
"I'll help you," Zona piped in. "I know about all of his pranks."  
"Thanks." He went inside.  
Before Arizona entered, she said to Wash, "By the way, I know that you love me." She quickly entered the room.  
Wash just stood there, processing what just happened. He wasn't obvious about his crush on her, so that could only mean one thing. Someone had told her. And he had a pretty good idea of who it was.  
"MAINE!"


End file.
